Love yourself: what does it mean

Love for oneself is often described as life for their pleasure, arrogance or selfishness. This is not so, says psychologist Sarah Len Mutvisekva: there are many meanings in this feeling, and it is almost the most important in life.

We all heard how important it is to love ourselves, but this is what you really mean? We eat because we know that we need nutrition – this is the instinct. With love for yourself, everything is much more complicated. No matter how sad, many desperately fight for success, recognition and happiness, but they do not understand that everything starts with love for themselves.

We will not be able to sincerely love someone until we learn to certainly love ourselves. Everything is simple: you cannot give another what you yourself do. The perception of such love is laid in childhood and most often formed unconsciously: we learn it, watching those who educate us.

To love yourself is more than wearing chic outfits and use expensive cosmetics. This is a wide concept in which many meanings

, material and spiritual. There are many well -groomed and well -dressed people who have no idea what real love for themselves means. There is no selfishness in it – only a manifestation of kindness to others, because the one who loves himself does not shift his problems to others.

Such love consists of four aspects: self -awareness, self -esteem, self -esteem and care of oneself. If at least one falls out, it means that we do not really love ourselves. The path to this love lies through the confrontation of the internal “demons”. This is not easy: not everyone will dare to a frank conversation with himself. Dependence on others and habits makes us compromise – to exchange an unconditional feeling for short -term pleasures. Therefore, it is so difficult to love ourselves: we have to get rid of specific inclinations and even people.

Consider the four components of love for ourselves Read more.

Self -consciousness

It’s about the ability to control the psyche: to realize how thoughts affect emotions and how emotions affect actions. Can you determine what thoughts cause anger and make you act impulsively? Where did they come from and how they are explained? Why did you do this and not otherwise? The same applies to joyful sensations. Why do you have fun? This means looking at yourself from the side to understand your condition.

Self -awareness – the key to emotional intelligence. Determining the cause of anger does not mean to stop being angry, but so you can react smarter or not react at all. People with high emotional intelligence have the same emotions as everyone, but they know how to manage them. Including not to allow situations that cause undesirable feelings and reactions. When to smooth out the conflict or avoid it at all, self -awareness allows you to redirect negative energy into a constructive direction. One way to develop self -awareness is to keep a diary of thoughts, emotions and actions.


Since misfortunes are constantly happening in the world, we involuntarily focus on bad news and transfer all the negativity to ourselves, not wanting it ourselves. We are born with unlimited potential, which has been preserved all our lives. Everyone has it, only some use it, while others do not notice it. Self -esteem is our attitude towards ourselves, and very often it is far from the best. The reason for this is the past unsuccessful experience that we lived, but failed.

Adequate self -esteem consists in the ability to see your best sides (after all, there is good one in each). If you are trying to restore self-esteem, allocate an hour to recall all the cases when you succeeded, and the people who thanked you. What if you consider yourself a non -insignificance just because you do not know your price? Self-esteem has no criteria: there is no need to achieve something in order to appreciate yourself. You are you. Your advantages, talents, good deeds – all this is confirmation of your value.

Self -esteem

High self -esteem is an awareness of their value, regardless of achievements and outstanding qualities, but self -esteem is tied to them. The exercise mentioned above raises self -esteem, but it also works to strengthen self -esteem. When the first grows, after it the second.

Self -esteem depends on three factors: how much we were loved in childhood, what our peers achieved and what we ourselves have achieved compared to our parents. This also means living with us in peace and be pleased with those who are we, where we are and what we own. Want to respect yourself – increase self -esteem. Every day remind yourself that you should not report to anyone for how you live.

Caring for yourself

This aspect is more related to the body, although not only with it. Caring for ourselves implies everything that we do for our health: we take a bath, eat balanced, drink enough water, rest and pamper ourselves. She has other forms: the music that we listen to, films and programs that we watch, people with whom we communicate. Taking care of yourself is pretty simple. Start with this – and you learn to love yourself.

Ask yourself as often as possible: “What would the one who loves himself to?»Ask this question whenever you need to make a decision, simple or complex. One hint and one warning are attached to this simple exercise.

Clue: Trust your instincts, your “I” knows what he needs.

Warning: You may not like what instincts say, and this is normal. But still continue. Good luck!